Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize