I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
