I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
The uberlube is also flammable
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize