it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
he was CRYING into my vagina
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Dick very happy bro
Randomize
