I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
