i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
