i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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