He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Randomize
