I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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