counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
