I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
