your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
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