This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
