call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
