I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
