Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I touched a dick in church today
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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