this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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