I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
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