the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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