Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
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