Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
