how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
