how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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