That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Randomize