This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Randomize
