I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
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