dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Randomize
