You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Randomize
