When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
this will be a night to untag.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
