Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I have peed in a lot of sinks
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