her vagine was all disorganized.
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Randomize
