this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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