he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
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