why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
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