I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Randomize
