Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
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