Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I FOUND THE LEGS
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
