I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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