so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
