he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize