the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
