she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
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