hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
