Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
