the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
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