U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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