I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Randomize
