she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
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