I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Randomize
