So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
