were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Randomize
