Fine. I'll sleep in my office
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
