We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Randomize
