you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Randomize
