Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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