I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
