You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Randomize
