youre lurking in front of me
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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