is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
