Just cropdusted the office
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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